Barack to America: ‘Hey, you owe me a lot of gratitude for the great job I’m doing!’

Let’s see. Unemployment is nearly 10%, the highest in 26 years. Four million jobs have evaporated since January 2009. The national debt is a sobering $12.9 trillion, up $2.2 trillion in just 15 months. Iran is months away from building its first nuke and the U.S. strategy for stopping these lunatics is to blame Israel for the troubles in the Middle East. Dictators and thugs — from Hugo Chavez to Kim Jong II to Hafiz al-Assad — openly thumb their noses at the U.S., knowing they are safe to subvert freedom anywhere they desire.

So what does our Dear Leader say to Americans? “I think they should be saying thank you.”

'Let's all give me a big round of applause!'

Yes, at a fundraiser last week, our President announced that those who are dissatisfied with his regime (up to 60% of the country, according to the latest polls) should just shut up and pay him fealty. So in the spirit of being a loyal subject, the Keyster would like thank President Barack Hussein Obama for the following things:

Uniting the country: After his convincing election in November 2009, the man who promised to unify the country has done so in a way he really didn’t anticipate. People are increasing unified against this imperial man and his cohorts in Congress who daily seek to grow government. 51% of the country now says it is a bad idea for government to exert more control over the economy, up from 37% just a year ago. Just 25% of the country has a favorable view of Congress. Obama’s poll numbers have done down faster than the market values of the car companies he’s bought.

'I applaud my good friend Presidente Obama for modeling his economy on the Cuban success!'

Exposing the mainstream media once and for all as a gentle lapdog of liberalism: Despite being the least transparent and accessible President of modern times, the fading mainstream media continues to cheer-lead his every move. From having dozens of Marxists and other radicals running free in the West Wing, to breaking every campaign promise he ever made, to having each major program fail spectacularly (starting with the ‘stimulus’ debacle, through ‘cash for clunkers’ to the slimy politics in jamming the healthcare bill), the media has given this guy a pass. There may be a couple of people left in this country who think the NY Times, NBC, Washington Post and CNN are ‘objective,’ but they all work for National Public Radio.

AlfonZo Rachel

Made it cool to be conservative
: Yep, after taking the youth vote by a 2-1 margin, Obama has not only spawned a huge new anti-tax movement in the tea parties, he has sparked a conservative resurgence among young people. After watching Barack blow their future on his socialist utopia, teeing them up for serious tax increases when the healthcare bill gets ramped up, an entire generation has come to appreciate freedom. Young conservatives have emerged who are not afraid to mix it up with the libs. Andrew Breitbart, Jason Mattera, AlfonZo Rachel, James O’Keefe and Hannah Giles have joined other conservative firebrands like Ann Coulter, Mark Steyn, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. The result? Young people don’t have to kowtow to the orthodoxy of most of their teachers and professors.

And finally, President Obama, I’m grateful to you for supplying the Keyster with a never-ending source of great material!


2 Responses to “Barack to America: ‘Hey, you owe me a lot of gratitude for the great job I’m doing!’”

  1. The Bro Says:

    The Keyster’s observations are truly appreciated by all of us in the Golden State who hope that Meg Whitman can save us from the ravages of too many years of short bus-riding legislators; who in their checkered pants, short ties and polyester sport coats have bankrupted this state with full support of the girly-man Governator. If that sentence is too long, then so is the time we have spent with these clowns. By all means, at all levels of government; throw the bums out!

  2. Mike Says:

    You are my hero. I cannot believe how you put into words exactly waht I have been thinking

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