Barack’s Asian tour: ‘Michelle and I had a great time, although the G-20 leaders said the U.S. economy smelled like month-old sushi!’

Like many Americans, the Siesta Keyster took a reprieve from politics following the November 2 midterms. Our president, alas, did not.

Fresh off his party’s historic rejection by the electorate, Barack ‘Holiday’ Obama gassed up Air Force One, packed his ‘prompters and before you should shout “road trip!” was doing what he does best: merrily bashing allies and his own nation on the world stage.

'Michelle and me showed the Indian peasants how we get down in America!'

In a dizzying tour that covered India, Indonesia, South Korea for the G-20 meeting, and finally Japan, our Dear Leader was desperate to recapture the magic. It’s hard to believe that just last year, heads-of-state were eager to pose for photos with the first superpower leader in history who actively sought to reduce his own country’s stature.  Naturally, Barack and Michelle were the belles of the ball from Beijing to Burma.

'Hu is a great guy, he promised that he won't foreclose on the U.S. treasury as long as I carry his suitcases!'

The big question: could the man known as “O-bow-ma” for his fawning supplication to dictators and genocidal totalitarians get his mojo back? Would the rest of the global media join their U.S. counterparts in desperately trying to repair BHO’s image after his embarrassing midterm pasting?  Would Obama use the G-2o summit to announce that the Chinese are now using U.S. Treasuries as wallpaper?

Unfortunately for Barry, his recent world tour resembled the infamous “Spinal Tap” movie, only without the codpieces and Stonehenge props. So for loyal readers who may not have followed our president’s most recent global misadventures, we present:

The Siesta Keyster’s Pocket Guide to President Obama’s November World Trip

India:  Ate Indian food.  Praised terrorist-sponsoring nation Pakistan.  Michelle  ravishing in a kicky sari.  Barry demonstrated his dance chops with a wicked Diwali twirl.

'Michelle looked so good in her hijab that we're gonna make it a law for women in the U.S.!'

Indonesia: Ate Indonesian food.  Got explosive diarrhea.  Commended Islam as a religion of “peace.”  Condemned Israel for not converting to Wahabbism and turning over all its land to Hamas for a terrorist training camp.  Declared that he is a lot more Indonesian than American.  Michelle stunning in traditional hijab for evening prayers.

South Korea:  Ate Korean food.  Called “breath of a thousand commodes” by French President Sarkozy after mistakenly brushing his teeth with kimchi.  Performed CPR on Chinese dictator Hu Jintao after Hu hyperventilated laughing when Barack suggested that China strengthen its currency to help the U.S.  Voted “Least Likely to Succeed” by the G-20 leaders.  Declared that “all Asians look alike” after calling a Chinese reporter South Korean.

Japan: Ate tempura and sushi.  Bowed to the doorman, bellhop, valet and maid at his hotel.  Told Japanese audience that he’s ordered a fleet of Toyota Prius hydrids because his new Chevy Volt “won’t even make it to the end of the White House driveway” on a single charge.  Apologized to Dmitry Medvedev after the Russian president stole his lunch money.  Michelle wows the Japanese with her karaoke rendition of “What Kind of Fool Am I,” dedicating the performance to her husband.

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