Thaddeus joins GOP race: the Keyster is there with full on-the-scene analysis

For the past six weeks, the Siesta Keyster investigative team has focused exclusively on introducing readers to the ever-expanding field of Republican presidential candidates.   Another GOPer has declared and we’re honoring our commitment to be there with insights and analysis of every presidential contender, no matter how long the list.

Obamanonics at work

Unfortunately, like most American businesses (with the exception of teleprompter repair firms, federal unions and food-stamp printers), we have suffered most grievously in the Keynesian nightmare of President Obama and the Dems.

While we have focused on Republicans, our Dear Leader has not been idle. He continues to appease dictators, fight for higher taxes and spending, and attack capitalism between golfing, vacations with the fam, and fundraising.

In this economic environment, we simply don’t have the human and fiscal resources available to chronicle both BHO’s follies and Republican aspirants at the same time. But still your hearts: when the GOP field stabilizes,  we again will provide the comprehensive coverage and dispassionate scrutiny of our 44th president that readers have come to expect.

Can McCotter hit the right notes with an electorate that knows nothing about him?

So let’s meet the latest candidate hoping to toss Barry out of the White House:


Age: 45
Full name, which is why he shouldn’t use it: Thaddeus George McCotter
Background: Five-term Congressman from Michigan’s 11th district; earned B.A. and law degrees from the University of Detroit; entered politics as a county commissioner in 1992, served in the Michigan senate and was elected to Congress in 2002; he and wife Rita have three children; plays lead guitar in the Second Amendments, a Congressional band formed to entertain troops; President Bush called him “the guitar dude”
Strengths: Wields a Telecaster with an American flag painted on it; has vigorously opposed the Obama-Pelosi-Reid agenda; not afraid to stand up to liberal mobs and thugs; quickly rose to be a driver of the conservative agenda in Congress; can play an E9(b5) chord; 100% rating from the National Right to Life Committee; hails from the state that gave the country Shredded Wheat
Weaknesses: Will independents vote for a man named Thaddeus?; has lower name recognition than insurance salesman Filbert Berkowitz from Mullen, Nebraska; voted for “card check” legislation that would eliminate secret ballots in union elections; Michigan foisted Michael Moore and Madonna on us
Compared to Obama: 7,980,002,8790,229,763,210 times better
Suggested campaign slogan: “Vote for Thad, he’ll repeal Obama’s bad!”


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2 Responses to “Thaddeus joins GOP race: the Keyster is there with full on-the-scene analysis”

  1. Bro' Says:

    Cannot vote for Thaddeus without hearing his band. Do not care for 80’s hair bands, although judging from the photo, this should not be a problem.

    • The Keyster Says:

      dear CE,
      you raise a good point: does T-Mac have the chops? We are encouraged that another noted conservative, Ted Nugent, also hails from Michigan and is proven to possess ferocious tone and political convictions. After all when you can shoot your guitar with a flaming arrow in the middle of a song, and pen a column defending the 2nd amendment, you have what it takes. I remain,

      The Keyster

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